Confession: Before I write any of this I need you to know something.

As I type these very words, I’m sitting in a coffee shop, listening to some obtusely loud Coltrane over the factory installed ceiling speakers. I’m watching a couple of older men argue about climate change, and neither seems to really care about winning the match of minds. The baristas bellow out drinks and names that may or may not be correctly correspond with the persons who ordered the drink. I’m noticing that the five year old who is stationed at the table behind me has discovered the joys of playing “Blow into the Straw and Watch the Drink Explode”. My twitter feed tells me there are four more tweets for my inquiring mind to investigate, and so I do.

So, once again, my environment has become my master. I had hoped to come into the shop, get a refreshing caffeinated beverage, and then sit down and focus on my task. But once again, I’ve been lured away with the trivial shiny things that distract me.

I’m such a sucker.

But in so many ways my current coffee shop exploit is what I encounter in seemingly every other place I end up; I am in a conversation or experience with another person, but in a matter of moments, my eyes, my mind, and even my heart get dragged off to some far away place. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stood face to face in a conversation with another person, only to have my mind wander to the next place I need to go, or even the next things I need to say. Whichever it is, I subconsciously float away, moving to new thoughts that have nothing or little to do with what is happening right in front of me.

But they’d never know. You see, when it comes to faux-listening, I’ve gone pro.

I have developed an intricate series of head nods, and paired them with a series of sympathetic “hmms” and “yeahs” to convince the speaker that I am completely enthralled with their tale. While It may appear that I am the epitome of presence and mindfulness, I am surely not.

And somewhere down the line, thats really started breaking my heart.

I don’t know if I prayed something to God about being more sensitive or being more in sync in my time with people, or if I was just graciously given a dose of “shut yourself up and listen” from the Spirit (who I am realizing does humble and give such gifts without asking my permission). Whichever it might have been, I began to see a deep deficit in how I was being fully present and attentive with people. I had somehow twisted in my own mind and heart that this was their chance to be with me, rather than my chance to be with them. Ah, what ego and self-importance does to destroy relationships and people.

Let me bottom line this little narrative of personal failure; We have done a horrendous job of representing Jesus when we let ourselves get in the way of being fully present for other people. Christianity is not a set of dogmatics, or some ideals that are supposed to be carried around like a sacred banner. Christianity is the very essence of the Gospel, the hope and recovery of the world brought through by Christ into the life of a person! Being a believer and follower of Jesus is about being his follower to those who don’t know him yet, representing the presence of the redeemer of humanity!!

If we take his example and his command seriously, then it’s time we get over ourselves and began practicing with some passion and fervor that lost art of being fully present and the even more lost art of listening. Here are some spots that I’ve been more ruthless about to that end:

My Cell Phone: I’m not perfect yet, but there was a time when I pulled it out during conversations with others, and during meals! with my Wife!! To check Facebook!!! This is just completely and utterly drowned in FAIL, so I do my best to not use my phone when I am with other people, and If I do, I explain in detail why I need to pull out my phone to use it.

My Responses: I think its human nature to not want to sound like a moron when you are asked a question. That is why so many of us begin to rack our brains for answers when we begin to hear a question or thought being prompted by someone else. The problem therein lies the fact that while we are rummaging through our mind for the answer, we have turned off the rest of what the person is trying to communicate. Being fully present means often times that we don’t have a reply or a comment to add, only that we can understand to our best ability what the person is communicating.

My Follow Through: Each situation and conversation I am in is obviously going to need its own follow through, but being intentional about recommunicating and recontacting is so important in establishing relationships with people. I try my best to not just have one-off conversations that float off into oblivion after the words are spoken. Peoples stories and feelings and perceptions are important, and I want to treat them with respect and love.

Im still not a perfect listener, and I still catch my mind wandering off, but I am grateful to be moving into a better place when it comes to being more fully present to engage and be in life with other people more fully.

How fully present are you? Have you crafted your art of listening well? What’s that shiny thing over there??

Article by Spreading Stories writer, Dave Wasson.

I love me some zombie movies!

There’s nothing quite like kicking back to a good old fashion flick about the living-dead and their high protein diet of BRRAAIINNS. There’s just something about the Zombie Apocalypse in films that looks both horrifying and exceedingly fun all at the same time. I’ve also found that I’m not alone in my fascination with our lumbering loved ones long past. The internet has burst to the seems with zombie survival guides, viral videos promoting zombie-harmony dating sites (see what I did there?), and t-shirts!

What is so great about zombies, you ask? Well, only everything! But to not make this just a post about my love and appreciation for them, I’d like to share with you a secret. You see, I have to admit to you that I am a zombie.

It feels good to get that off my chest.

I know, I know. I am not the traditional tattered clothes, green/gray colored zombie you might assume. I do not have awesome zombie dance moves like my zombie brothers and sisters in the Thriller video possess. I’m not even on a brain only diet, though my wife is amazed at how much sushi I can consume. Despite all of that, I have a very strong similarity that ties me closely to the zombie family tree.

Above all things, there is one thing Zombies are known for: having a one-track mind. When given the option between a well garnished surf and turf dinner or my medulla oblongata, they’ll choose me. When given the option to rest their weary undead feet or chase me miles and miles until I am cornered in the back alley of a local deli, they choose to chase after me. If asked about their opinion about the effects of inflation in developing countries, or making a Dave sandwich… you get the point.

And that is where the intersection of reality and zombie meet, for me at least.

Locally, we are about eighteen months in our church plant’s story, but only two months with “boots on the ground”. So much time was spent praying and planning and brainstorming and revising – you’d think we’d be done with so much and ready to bloom and grow now. The reality is something much different. We find ourselves answering one question only to have four more pop up. We begin one conversation only to end it in a completely different realm. Part of the beauty of God’s Kingdom expansion through new churches is the discovery of new methods and new ways to reach new people. But, that is also an arena with many unanswered questions that need to be worked out and wrestled with.

And so I sometimes find myself almost literally sitting in a pile of questions that I am not wise enough, smart enough, or ready to answer. And it’s in that moment that my zombie form takes shape. My mind gets trapped somewhere between “what on earth am I doing” and “you can’t possibly do this”, and I am zombie-fied. It becomes hard for me to eat, hard for me to sleep, hard for me to focus on other things than what is on my now one track mind. I am of little good to my family, because my mental and emotional reserve is filling  and sustaining my zombie status. I pull away from communication and working towards progress. My zombie self just wants to dwell in a season of worry and doubt.

I told you I was a zombie. Believe me now?

Don’t worry though. I’ve seen enough Zombie movies that I know what needs to be done. What do you do to stop a Zombie? What’s the one true way to stop the one track mind of the ever pursuant enemy?

You cut off its head, of course.

For me, cutting off the head means grounding myself in a Godly reality. The fact of the matter is that the questions that drive me into a state of worry or anxiety are broken. The thoughts “what am I doing” and “you can’t do this” (and their peers) are questions rooted in self. They are questions that are pride oriented and are not of God. When I catch myself getting caught in these traps, the best thing I can do is realize my own selfishness in hiding behind these questions.

Of course I can’t do it on my own, of course I have tremendous flaws and weaknesses, but that is not what God has called me to live in. God has called me to be obedient to his call. That call for my family is to start a new expression of the church in Phoenix, Arizona. God has called me to be obedient, not successful. What happens as we plant will be in God’s hands as we are faithful to his call. Whether we are a church of ridiculous numbers and numerous ministries, or of modest numbers with a few specialized ministries will be shown to us as we continue in faithful communion with him.

God’s success will be achieved, his Kingdom will multiply, his name will be made famous. It’s not on my back to ensure these things, and when I acknowledge that in my heart and mind, and then begin to live it more fully in my life… the head of the zombie falls off.

Thanks for watching the first SpreadingStories.com Special. Get excited for the first article from church planter and SpreadingStories.com writer Dave Wasson. Don’t miss his article a week from today, Monday July 12.